Grumps and rants

I didn’t know until I saw this on twitter or some platform (matrimony?) that podcast is a thing. This took further interest when Elon Musk showed up on a podcast lit a joint that was talked over the social media. I started watching (listening) podcast since the COVID-19 lockdown went into place. I watched a lot in the beginning from the Joe Rogan (YouTube). His podcasts cover wide array of people such as finance, comic artists, sportspersons, movie actors, economics, professional poker players, any field, any genre. He can talk to anyone for long durations; I think the longest I heard was close to three hours. I absolutely love the way he gets into the conversations, he without any long pauses or any other fillers moves back to the point he initially had wanted to. The podcast shapes like a water in a vase, any form as long as the water keeps flowing in it will transform. Even if he doesn’t have deep interest in anyone’s field he would still be able to get details, a superficial idea o...

Date 06/11/2019 Back in 2010 or so I used to visit an NGO; that used to assist kids with special needs. I and few of my friends were part of a group to meet kids, teach, spend time with them. These kids had genetic disorders, learning disabilities and such. Again, and again we taught them A-Z, or 0-9, or names kid would fail next day or next minute, splitting heart into smithereens. I didn't recall a day where my eyes didn't well up there; I was torn apart, as I was in tears. I wasn't strong enough to face them. After these sessions I used to get back to routine, fun as it was the end of my college education, again cycle continued. I visited the NGO once a week and as time went the visits got sparser; I didn't visit in later months of my under-graduate college. I couldn't summon courage to visit or insincerity got better of me. These days I work at a research-based, academic-hospital setting. I see loads of kids with severe genetic disorder, kids with spec...

Recently, I am watching Designated Survivor TV series on Netflix. To give a backdrop it's a political thriller based out of Washington DC, USA, where the entire government is assassinated save two-three people. From these remaining, one gets to become the President of the United States (POTUS). The drama then begins chasing culprit, closing in on leads, betrayals within the government so and so forth. The series also spans on political challenges one administrator faces such as tabling of a bill, domestic issues of violence (gun), etcetera. Amidst all scandals, politicking, bills the ruling office hires someone who can direct and improve overall public image of ruling party. The hired professional says appearance is reality. He goes to back and forth with his prolix language to have POTUS agree to his. After watching episode and in last few weeks having digressive discussion over this I have starting to believe this more and more. It's all about packaging. There are certain ...

I grew up in a city, studied in an English medium school, went in a school bus, had access to high-end facilities at school such as library, playground and such. For me saying "My name is so and so" was easier than cutting cake, mention my father's name, address, city in English; I was adored in my village more than two decades back. It was unheard of someone who can say one line in English.  Village where access to electricity is somewhat equivalent to water accessibility in cities like Bangalore in summers, now. There would have been successive days where one had had electricity for say more than five hours. To me back in city it was rare to have electricity shed except summers, or early mornings. I can say I had had a fancied childhood, a fortunate one. Touch wood. In summers I played marbles, did mischiefs all around in weddings, house inauguration, looked at night full of stars, made wishes for good marks in grade exams gazing at falling stars, wondered at shift of ...

2018, what a year I must say. Year got tougher in every aspect unthinkable. For the starters,  I turned 30 in October 2018. I'd pined to write on this but schedule was difficult. Three decades complete, with last decade full of a roller coaster ride. I moved around few number of cities in India: Bhopal, Pune, Gandhinagar, Mumbai, etc. I moved to another nation, the US; moved here to three cities: Atlanta and most currently New York City Area, Weehawken township. I made few or close to no new friends in the decade save college ones from under graduate, give one or two from masters'. The ones from work were non existential and are none to say.  I think it is good for me to see how things have shaped, unshaped in this decade or several years combined. I got my first job in 2010 Dec., I got my first paid intern in year 2014. I saw a good number of movies until 2011 thanks much to under-grad hostel and LAN. Movies rarely added to my schedule after 2011 give or take few A-OK a...

The Temperature's been hovering near freezing point all day long, I welcome this chilly weather that was much dreaded. I'd attended an invited talk yesterday. The talk focused on extremely rare diseases, genetics and data behind. My interest shrunk as the voice was unreachable and being a back bencher I registered very less amount of her words but I was interested in the study, design she'd conducted.  She had worked with/on diseases in Hungarian gypsies, fascinating, I know right? She did her education (Phd) back in Belgium. Also, the research was narrowed onto pediatrics; she worked closely with clinicians, helping parents to curate diet for affected children, develop personalized medicine by zooming into the cause of disease. She worked with such rare diseases ( for example  - a form of progeria) that case (affected individual) count of two was great. To give an idea my research is conducted on data that include 10,000+ people. Her research worked with families aff...

It was snowing in morning. Light snow flakes, ones hampering your visibility, intermittently falling on eyelashes, melting on eye-glasses. The chills weren't there, it was cold. Such mornings make my knees go weak. It's not the work, or routine, it's the moment I want to sit in my room, gaze outside, see the town get coated in white dust. I get overwhelmed by these moments. Rush to work, lines on the forehead, thoughts in the subconscious mind fade away. It was similar to stomping my heart for something I cared less. I breathed in the cold air, stood in the snow at station close to office, smiled and braced self for the day ahead.

I've been maintaining a separate file for all the books I've read, seems tedious to keep it now. For good I'm going to list all the books I've read until now. They are going to overlap with the ones I'd shared recently. I can't say I've read the most fancy, or the most-read ones but the variety grew as I grew (older) or I could lay my hands upon. In no particular order they are: Angels and demons by dan brown Romance with chaos by nishant kaushik Complete sherlock holmes by sir arthur conan doyle The monk who sold his ferrari The verdict - John grisham Tell me your dreams - Sidney sheldon Harry Potter: The Philosopher's Stone  One night at call center Godfather Five point some one Master of the game - sidney sheldon The sky is falling- sidney sheldon Digital fortress- by dan brown Three mistakes of my life Any thing for you ma'am Eleven minutes- Paulo Coelho Blood line-  Sidney sheldon Oliver's story - Eric sehgal Love story ...

For the last time I'm sitting in my endeared balcony. I guess enjoying noise from planes in the sky, sirens from ambulances. Night is beautifully pleasant, close to full moon, breezy. Wrapped in my thoughts, few brooded upon, reliving good memories, burying the heart wrenching ones (Arlington Cemetery is close by). Gazing at small whatsoever Virginia skyline with clear head, empty mind like a clean slate. One on which anything could be etched and everything could be erased, again and again. I am going to miss balcony for an indefinite period of time. My body is aching and eyes are heavy from all the packing, cleaning. Am moving. This is figuratively and literally, both. I'm moving to the world's financial capital and moving on in my life, further and farther. DC had been the city where I resided, lived more than eighteen months in last more than half-a-decade. I can't believe myself it's been really a long time of more than two and half years. Years pass by but no...

I jostle with numerous things, things that are like cake walk for many. I merely can't figure or make up my mind. It takes me time to convince myself, to gather my thoughts and make route through them. As in whence I'm jabbing keys on this laptop for blogging I've to make some outline of the post, some times it's like a fog, few times I write in multiple seatings, edit, review and again consolidate thoughts. The picture is hazy, where to start, where to end is unclear.  A decade or so back I was prepping for an entrance exam and during one of the classes we were told physics is about feel. If you can't get it then it is going to be hard. I didn't understand it for many months until practising tens of questions, writing tests I consistently scored in single digits. Later on I quit preparations for the exam and aimed lower for I realized I'm unable to get idea of things quickly, as was needed.  I realized and practised this thoroughly yet I haven't sto...

It's 65°-ish Fahrenheit in the District. Evening is serene, save cruising sound of vehicles from highway across the apartment and loud noise from jets from airport near by.  This weather is totally marvelous, I could sit entire night without moving, yet enjoy every moment of it. Pleasantness is immeasurable in the Fall in DC. I'm going to miss it, very very much. Dawns are bit soggy, misty, foggy. Need an another layer to wrap, absorb a tad chilly weather with a savory tea. Time has changed. I'm inundated with some mixed feelings, doubts, some inhibitions. Things have changed, time has moved on, however, I reckon it's me who hasn't. Probably, time to rectify stuff within self. Not going to roll as always, had been, have been.  I ponder too hard on how and what causes these changes so slow, that are much needed yet take years to understand, identify, be cognizant of. People are mean, selfish. They are going to lie, absorb anything, nod, roll eyes as if things are ...

Some years back I was having a conversation with one of many persons I randomly talk, but this one knows how to handle things, questions in crystal clear manner, without letting emotions cloud judgement. Car was filled with pungent cigarette smokes, it was pitch dark save headlights of the car. Conversation was rambling as it always does with me, like me. Broad strokes about so and so, such and such things. I had noticed that I was going bored at the end of the destination of things, people, pursuits. The last infinitesimally small percentage feels intensely laborious. It's like dragging a sack. Conversation went on this fact I noticed. Person was as cool like a bar tender taking order, with calm head, regardless of the complex nature of ordered drink. Nothing much was said or provided any detailed explanation but merely - don't put your immense efforts in the beginning of the journey. Let things slow, easy. That would allow not to burn your enthusiasm and saves until end of ...

I often get agitated with things, the way they remain calm and refuse to budge. Perhaps for me things have not been rolling, or maybe I like things flowing, prefer things that change their course keeping me on the go. Things tend to slow down in mid-life and slowest in old age unlike childhood where time flies insanely fast. I was told about this and its analogy with three clock hands long back in summers. I've gotten old that could be another plausible explanation. For some reason these thoughts perplex me. At times I agree to them, sometimes I fret over them. If I look around I see people doing same things for years and years some successfully, some in vain yet giving their best. If I take example from tennis sport the big four never let their matches to any other and have retained their supremacy on different tennis courts for over a decade now. Other players never gave up, the older ones are not letting thing give up too, quite evident from 2017's win in Australian Op...

I think this post might quench doubts in many people's mind oozing frequently, when they see someone share, publish a blog, or write a column. What makes people pen down ideas? This question could be flung to many enthusiasts who virtually take pen, write, become a medium to convey events, privation, joy, disparity happening around. Or in more dissuasive tone question is oft put: why people have a sudden spike of interests to become writer, author? The mooted question is definitely worthy the attention it seeks. I'd attempt to touch it with broader strokes. First, the ubiquitous presence of social media has been pivotal in promoting writers, authors, journalists who were away due to lack of attention, waiting for the debut - the one opportunity that evaded endlessly. Empowered internet, social media gave an outlet to demonstrate skills and talent to the world. With constructive criticism many went up the ladder and few have achieved the unthinkable in short span of time. ...

I think my blog shall be incomplete should I don't dedicate a post to Mumbai. Mumbai; I can go on and on about this city, where I spent nearly 2 years. There is so much spoken, written about Mumbai. City that attracts people, thrives on thriving people. People drive crazy to it and it also drives people crazy. Jobs, money, entertainment, travel, food, fashion, a city that ousts everyone in every possible dimension, absorbs anyone from anywhere, a host of million dreams, giving rise to million other dreams. Mumbai, city of dreams, is known to many of us through the lens of cinema. Portrayal of Mumbai is with many Hindi movies begin. Shoehorned slums, packed local trains, Juhu beach, Nariman point with many other spots covered that are heart and soul of this vibrant city. Bollywood has its own major role in making this city immensely popular. Umpteen movie and TV stars reside here. It still pulls many aspirants providing a platform to get a foothold in the (in?)famous industry....

One fine Friday evening whilst leaving workplace, colleague asked what plans do I have for the evening. As usual, the answer was nothing much and would get bored. She was surprised and asked why bored? I told her that I like being here and enjoy working. She chuckled and didn't believe. Ugh. I like constant reluctance from task not getting complete. That resistance drives me nuts nonetheless, and I get on to it every minute. Even I leave work, in the back of my mind I think about some or the thing related to work and get on it next day. Not that someone has put a pistol on my head for task, but how else does one steer through the day? There is an incessant pull and push from the work. Sometimes I enjoy and sometimes don't, either way. A long day and extended hours of work are something I prefer being soaked into. Totally disconnected from any other thing. Sheer numbness and absent mindedness, Ha! I like to hammer hard myself, as a blacksmith does to red hot iron on the anvil...

A lot has changed since the time we've moved to new office. Fridays tend to get bit desolate as the week prepares for week-end. Few weeks back I was going nuts with deadlines of performance review. As scheduled I had a call with supervisor which went fine. Tiny tweaks here and there things got streamlined. I was about to wrap up from work then I heard foot steps and few chatters. Upon looking, I see dean of the department with 2 more persons. She knocks on couple of office doors to see anyone is there, but I told her none is around and are working from so and so place. With a bit disappointment she manages to pull herself and talk with other 2 people. Shows the terrace area and was about to leave. Upon looking closely I realize the person she is with is a billionaire. But to me a billionaire is all fancy person with suit and bells and whistles. This person outrightly dismissed my view of a billionaire. Whilst I'm still in shock billionaire exchanged pleasantries addressing ...

This year Olympics will be organized in Rio. With all support, and positive vibes in media, social networks Indians are wishing, and aiming for a tally of 10 than 6 of last Olympics. Media flooded with greetings on qualifying of Dipa Karamakar in Gymnasts for Rio-16. A true moment of happiness, whence hard work, sweat and blood meet a coveted spot for a sports person. She is the first Indian woman to enter in gymnasts. A moment of pride for the nation, indeed. Warm wishes from the legendary God of Cricket - Sachin Tendulkar were relayed. Moments like these throw a tide of inspiration of many other athletes, and people whom nation doesn't know, and hear of. Boosts morale for sports persons to continue to persevere, and sweat out with one goal irrespective of the failures, and hurdles.  Running out of romantic, Hollywood, and South Indian movie scripts Indian cinema has of late shedded light on sports through biopics on Milkha Singh, Paan Singh Tomar, Mary Kom among few others. I...

Oft has been said books are the best friends. Little was understood of this before I started reading, or made reading as my hobby habit. Alike many other things this wasn't done in a fortnight, or single handedly. Back, as in once upon a time: that long back we were highly encouraged by one school teacher of ours to improve English, for she was teaching French, and unless we don't know what a verb (an example) is, and if a word in French is a verb, then it gets 2 levels difficult to demystify a thing. First know what is Verb, then understand what that verb means in English. Ugh.!! Never did I understand nothing of these things much save to eat, to sleep, to see, so on and so forth words. Over the span of the course she tried with her blood and sweat to instill to improve our English, but we were "we" after all: all in vain that time. Seldom we were told meaning in Hindi, for that would have beat the purpose of her teaching French for she was there to teach Frenc...

Long ago, had someone would've asked me - what I'd like to be in my life; like many others after marveling at the trail of an airplane in a cloudless blue sky I'd have said a pilot, or after watching couple of shows on Discovery channel, may be an astronaut without knowing what I'd have to study, where I'd have to travel to acquire certain expertise. Over the passing by of next couple of years and the meteoric rise and rise of the God of cricket, I'd have said I want to be a cricketer, and bat like Sir SRT. As time and people change, so do the goals. Mine changed, too. Later on, I aimed to be a a computer geek thanks to Hollywood flicks. It is really hard to not to stray. But, something else was in store for me - I got my bachelors and later on a masters in an interdisciplinary field which spans through Biology, Maths, and Computer skills. There I was, equipped with something less heard of, never thought of, yet I landed onto an unknown territory.  Eventually...