Effortlessness

I jostle with numerous things, things that are like cake walk for many. I merely can't figure or make up my mind. It takes me time to convince myself, to gather my thoughts and make route through them. As in whence I'm jabbing keys on this laptop for blogging I've to make some outline of the post, some times it's like a fog, few times I write in multiple seatings, edit, review and again consolidate thoughts. The picture is hazy, where to start, where to end is unclear. 

A decade or so back I was prepping for an entrance exam and during one of the classes we were told physics is about feel. If you can't get it then it is going to be hard. I didn't understand it for many months until practising tens of questions, writing tests I consistently scored in single digits. Later on I quit preparations for the exam and aimed lower for I realized I'm unable to get idea of things quickly, as was needed. 

I realized and practised this thoroughly yet I haven't stopped trying without dedication.

If I'm unable to get a question or method done over months then either I am not for it, or, the approach isn't good. I have pulled the plug in such situation and on retrospection I think it was good. Understanding where I'm not good has been a boon for me. Another instance, if write-ups take longer then idea is certainly an amiss. 

If job hunt isn't going well then either I'm not aiming for appropriate job, or I'm not prepping well when the opportunity arises. Both can also be true. Until I feel this is it and I know this is going be a awesome job hunt is truly an immense psychological burden, it's grossly annoying. None can understand the mental work in applying, waiting, interviewing, scheduling, writing tests, negotiations, relocation, and what not. It's exceedingly tough. It leads to an exertion. It drives insanely anxious.  None I know has enjoyed job hunt. But if there's a feel on the day I'm through with this job hunt, so be it. 

I see and meet people who work crazily. Yet none have them said I've worked so and so night, pulled an all-nighter. Yada-yada. Facial expressions don't dare to convey any fatigue, eyes, smiles. Mitch, none. Even though efforts were put they were effortless for the person. She/He enjoyed and didn't notice that all night has gone, with things rolling. 

This thing is applicable to each and every sphere of life: networking, learnings. Oh, how did I not mention music? If guitar chords aren't felt no matter how tough I try there's going to be a difference who learned by repetitions and other who knows and feels the rhythm. Feel, this same is applicable to relationships, people; many call it connections or clicking. I think this too should be effortless. If the other person is draining then definitely this needs restructuring.  

Well workouts must require efforts though, but lingering of the idea that today I have to workout is an effort. It's going to dampen the enthusiasm and tire you out before lifting or cardio begins. 

Work, friendships, familial relationships, ideas toyed, talks, write-ups, anything if they make me feel stressed out I pull them out and bury them, or change approach. Things and efforts should be smooth, like a painter splendidly dabbing paint brush on canvass, knows how much intensity of color is needed to depict the thoughts. Effortlessly!