Grumps and rants

Why we hurt people we love most? Why do we say unbearable things that we didn't mean to? Why we say painful things to people we care most? What is it that fires up within urging to sow venomous seeds in the hearts of people you value the most? How do we come up with mettle to utter most agonizing, tormenting words to people who respect you more than anything else? Why don't we understand that it's easy to lose, hurt people than to get along with most beautiful memories of your lifetime? Why is it not easy to let go people and things you wished for? Why is it that there are scars for deeds that got unintentionally done? How do we sleep with thorns in soul after rending apart hearts of people who mean everything? Why don't we accept things as is and let things fall their own way than relentlessly rescuing them to not to fall in the cracks? Why is it there's irreparable damage done even when the desire was sinless? Why is there a hope within us that's c...

Some years back I was having a conversation with one of many persons I randomly talk, but this one knows how to handle things, questions in crystal clear manner, without letting emotions cloud judgement. Car was filled with pungent cigarette smokes, it was pitch dark save headlights of the car. Conversation was rambling as it always does with me, like me. Broad strokes about so and so, such and such things. I had noticed that I was going bored at the end of the destination of things, people, pursuits. The last infinitesimally small percentage feels intensely laborious. It's like dragging a sack. Conversation went on this fact I noticed. Person was as cool like a bar tender taking order, with calm head, regardless of the complex nature of ordered drink. Nothing much was said or provided any detailed explanation but merely - don't put your immense efforts in the beginning of the journey. Let things slow, easy. That would allow not to burn your enthusiasm and saves until end of ...

Over the last few months search is a suitable word, if at all, to summarize my thoughts. Apart from actual work I'm held up with things that keep my routine off the balance. Search for a right measure of red chilly powder. It still evades me honestly, its disproportionate quantity never stops me to try another pinch of it whilst cooking. Some times the powder changes, other times, dish gets changed, seldom both changed together. My quest for right number of laps in swimming pool that neither leaves me too tired, neither have me wanting to exercised more, is still ongoing. Although I think I'm good with the time for brisk walk. I baffle with the right quantity of food to cook. My tiny palms don't get it right on quantity. Unfailingly food is more than it was thought to last. Shoes I'm yet to buy another pair of running shoes, apparently, don't like the ones available in store. Person, or company, this search looks to have been ongoing for a duration more than I co...

Past couple of weeks I was on the road. Traveling, again sightseeing, checking out places. Shopping was inevitable and so was late night wakefulness. Neither any amount of sleep nor food had done a great justice to bring me back to the full enthusiasm equivalent of the day bygone. I seemed to lack something. Travel or schedule wasn't packed to the full, either. I saw many faces, many people, families, groups and sea of people at most touristic places in the world. If anything I enjoyed besides walking, getting rattled whilst being lost in navigation during travel were toddlers, infants. I dote these little creatures. Toddlers, I wish I can weave my thoughts for these enthusiastic folks. They are unstoppable with their cries, energy, wails, countless attempts, reticent smiles. They are going to do anything, everything within their reach. They never seemed fulfilled with any action, however small or big its might be. Their tiny little hands racing, eyes scanning surrounding, tiny...

Over the last few years I've come more as a morning person than nocturnal. Waking up by seven o'clock or eight to the late, even on weekends. I get restless otherwise, mind and body don't need excess of nothing. Weekend mornings tend to be quiet here in the district. Most of the people were either awake until morning for drinks, or busy gaming, TV series, talking politics. This city loves politics. If you're in the district then you'll not escape from the the bug of politics. You'll often see black and long cars of congressmen, entourage of Harley-Davidson police motorcycles with sirens blaring. Politics and power. This city is a prime destination for tourists when it's not cold. I've never had a chance to venture out to enjoy the luxuries of a tourist - to bite breakfast. I incredibly love going to old-fashioned joints whence on travels, grab something to eat, savor coffee, pour again and soak coffee's nose flaring smell. Sit, order, wait pati...

I often get agitated with things, the way they remain calm and refuse to budge. Perhaps for me things have not been rolling, or maybe I like things flowing, prefer things that change their course keeping me on the go. Things tend to slow down in mid-life and slowest in old age unlike childhood where time flies insanely fast. I was told about this and its analogy with three clock hands long back in summers. I've gotten old that could be another plausible explanation. For some reason these thoughts perplex me. At times I agree to them, sometimes I fret over them. If I look around I see people doing same things for years and years some successfully, some in vain yet giving their best. If I take example from tennis sport the big four never let their matches to any other and have retained their supremacy on different tennis courts for over a decade now. Other players never gave up, the older ones are not letting thing give up too, quite evident from 2017's win in Australian Op...

Living in a small town gives a lot of mobility, or so I believe. Excuses for not checking out new things, events, places or even revisiting places you've been to get depleted. Of course, it's applicable to things you're interested for otherwise regardless of location, size of town, buildings, theaters, gardens, popular spots remain for namesake. May be for some clicking selfie though. It had been a long time I had gone to museums or attended any performance. Some how spaghetti situations got hold me, yikes. Visiting museums is delightful to me albeit not for many people whom I know. Others find museums boring, just throwing looks as if checking photos on smartphone with no interest or insignificant joy. One of the many reasons I enjoy museums in the District of Columbia is that they are free, yay! Not all are free, but mostly. There are wealth of things to look, read and learn from these places, free of cost. If you enjoy graphics, high-resolution colored photos, read...